i would live anywhere that has lots of sun, warmth and peace.

i would love to learn how to be in the moment of each moment. i would love to learn how to express myself in words and in voice. i would love to learn how to love without hesitation.

piano. i've always wanted to play piano. i am drawn to it. i love the way it sounds.

tired, fried, pithy

it's funny what truths we find in nursery rhymes. i have been contemplating this. i know this is not a new thought but is yet a thought that takes practice. life is just a dream. we are in a collective dream. death could be the awakening. when we die, we will realize it was all a big fat dream. if we had known it was a dream along, we wouldn't have been so afraid, we wouldn't have taken life so seriously. life would be a playground. and since i was the dreamer, i would dream whatever i wanted and believe that it would happen. i feel the truth stirring in me when i see the world as an illusion and not real. there is no world out there. i am experiencing something that is called the world - which can trigger lots of emotions, mainly fear, worry, disgust. yet that is not the real world, it is just my view of it or my experience of it. isn't that really all there is? how will i ever know the world out there? i have been repeating over an over today, this is not real, this is just a dream. the world is not real. there is no real reality. nothing is real. nothing really exists. it's sounds crazy, but somehow very freeing. it's how i can be unattached to the world and how things should be. i can just experience it without judging it since it isn't real anyway. everything is temporal, ephemeral, fleeting - that's how i know it's not real. like right now, i am dreaming. i am dreaming that i am typing into this blog. what a phenomenal experience. it's crazy how i got to this point. who would have imagined life to be like this. yeah, we accept this as part of our culture, but this is how i am experiencing life and it's peculiar. somehow, when i "wake up" and realize i am dreaming, i am hit by the phenomenon and peculiarity of life. it's crazy and i love it.

self love - it all comes down to self love. love yourself and that will emanate to others. when you love yourself, you ultimately are loving others. this is believing that we are all one concept. you have got to love yourself. if you can't love yourself, how can you love others? everytime you bite at other people, it reflects a self hatred toward yourself. loving yourself is like loving god. that is if you believe that you are god, you must love yourself. i am a part of god, therefore my identity is god. when i love myself, i love god. #1, always remember to love yourself. this may sound selfish, but it's not. it is really the most loving thing you can do for yourself and the world around you. when you love yourself, that love will flow out to others. you got to have love in order to give love. well, that having love is loving yourself. when you are able to love yourself, you are guaranteed to always have love. it is not depending on someone else to love you. it's wonderful to receive love from others but you don't want to depend on that 100%. when you know that you can love yourself, you can always draw upon that anytime and anywhere. wow, isn't that freedom!

Oneness. What is it? In the physical universe, there seems to be a lot of differences. Take away our bodies, and we are left with our thoughts, feelings and perceptions. Our perceptions maybe different, but underlying, our desires and feelings are the same. We all seek happiness and feeling good. We all want to avoid pain and suffering. I believe that this is simple path that we are all on - seeking happiness, avoiding pain. There are other wonderful ideas and feelings that we seek - truth, freedom, love, peace. Our desires and dreams are what makes us ONE. We are all the same in that way. 

How are we all connected - by our thoughts, feelings and experiences. We have all shared the same experiences. We have all experienced fear, worry, pain. And most, if not all have had a taste of love and happiness and freedom. And what keeps us going - that next delicious moment!

Have you ever looked into the eyes of another human being and saw a reflection of yourself? We get to do that with a few treasured souls in our lives. I am so thankful I get to do that with my babies. As mothers, we get to immerse ourselves with our children. We get to fall in love all over again.

The quote, "others our just mirrors of ourselves" is spoken figuratively, but literally, other people's eyes are actual, physical mirrors. When I looked into my baby's eyes, all I can see is myself physically.  I also realized, I don't have access to other human beings like this. Even with my husband, there is too much stuff between us to just take the time to gaze into each other's eyes and see a reflection of ourselves. When I talk to my friends, I make good eye contact, but I am never close enough to see my reflection.

I have my Mother Goddess
She is with me
She is within me
She is the Lover of my Soul
My Mother Goddess is with me
She is the Goddess of Love
She is the Goddess of Beauty
I love her
She loves me
She loves my soul
She emerges through me
We become one

I've been contemplating death. Isn't that what we ultimately fear?
What is death? Our bodies all have an expiration date. Death is when the body expires.  It doesn't mean the end of us, me or you. Our bodies simply wear out. Where we go when our bodies expire, who knows. That poses the question, if we are not our bodies, what are we?

I have been facing my death. I am going to die and so is everyone else. So what really matters? It makes a lot of things pretty pointless. It's comforting to know that every human has to face his or her death. I am ready to face it now. I could die tomorrow, would I be ok with it? Death is fascinating for me. I want to know where I go or what happens when my body folds. What am I without my body? It's like shedding worn out clothes. Our bodies our like clothes, cars, houses - they all wear out and we get another shell, whether it be new clothes, car or house or relationship. Will I get another body, or will I be uncontained? I try and imagine myself without a body. I see death as my spirit being released from my body - that is liberating. I can see how this practice is spiritually uplifting. It's the dying to self practice. Knowing that we are not our bodies and everything in this world is temporary. I've become unattached to the body since I know it will wear out, die or expire. That's how I know it isn't me. I am everything but the body.